


Live With Me Forever Now

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Brotherly love/comfort, Depression, Gen, Not Shippy, Other, hurt-comfort, just family - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 00:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5607085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He knows Hiro and Cass care for him, and would do anything for him, and don’t really find him to be a burden. But there lingers a voice in the forefront of his mind telling him that that no, they do. They do think he’s a burden. They would be better off without him, and his medical bills, and his medications, and his constant need for care. Tadashi can’t even make it downstairs by himself. It’s humiliating. It’s crushing, the weight of his insecurities.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live With Me Forever Now

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't a shippy Hidashi fic. It's just some hurt/comfort, completely not shippy feels, and exploration of depression. Mostly an opportunity to explore some headcanons about Tadashi after surviving the fire.

Hiro watches his brother from across the room. Tadashi sits in his wheelchair and stairs out the huge windows in his room. All day and most of the night, Tadashi stays right where he is, watching the outside world and not speaking. Hiro watches with an increasingly broken heart. He remembers what it was like when he thought Tadashi was dead—it was crippling depression. It tore him apart from the inside out, and he seldom moved from the bean bag that currently rests not far from his older brother. Seeing depression in action, rather than being the one depressed, is in some ways even more heartbreaking.

Tadashi hardly eats, and it shows. There are heavy bags under his eyes and he looks nearly gaunt. Only when Hiro outright begs him to sit with them for dinner does Tadashi eat. And even then, it’s only a few bites and maybe a glass of water.

Hiro sighs from where he sits at his desk. He wonders idly if Tadashi will ever return to his usual self, or at least closer to it. Hiro know it’s probably a lot to ask to get the old Tadashi back, and Hiro knows that won’t ever really happen. Too much damage has been done for that. But, Hiro desperately hopes, day in and day out, that Tadashi will come back to him, open up to him, _talk_ to him outside of stiff nods and averted eyes.

)

Tadashi stares out the window, his mind foggy but on fire with thoughts. Every moment he’s awake his cursing the wheelchair he’s stuck in and the burns that obscure his body. Every moment that he’s asleep he’s haunted by fires licking at his skin and the crushing pressure of debris on top of him. He grips the armrests of his chair until his knuckles are white. He relaxes only when he sees Hiro shift across the room; his brother watches on, sad and curious.

Tadashi curses himself as well. He hates the depression that clouds his mind and the anxiety that keeps words trapped inside and keeps him stuck inside his own head. He wants to talk to Hiro—he missed Hiro so much, for so long. But it’s too hard to talk about what happened, to acknowledge all the things now wrong with Tadashi. He’ll never walk again; he’ll never feel comfortable in his own skin again, Tadashi is sure of it. There’s so much wrong with him now and with each passing day Tadashi feels more and more like a burden to those around him.

He knows Hiro and Cass care for him, and would do anything for him, and don’t really find him to be a burden. But there lingers a voice in the forefront of his mind telling him that that _no, they do_. They _do_ think he’s a burden. They _would_ be better off without him, and his medical bills, and his medications, and his constant need for care. Tadashi can’t even make it downstairs by himself. It’s humiliating. It’s crushing, the weight of his insecurities.

)

One day, after months of tension and havoc around the house, Hiro decides he’s had enough. When Hiro gets home from school on the fateful day, Tadashi is in his usual spot in their shared bedroom. Hiro locks their bedroom door behind them and sets his bag in front of the door just in case. He’s not letting Tadashi dodge this conversation and he doesn’t want anyone interrupting them.

Hiro comes up behind his brother, moves past him, and draws the curtain on all the large windows. Tadashi blinks, obviously brought out of deep thought. “Hiro?” He says softly, voice hoarse from disuse.

Hiro rounds on his brother with crossed arms and what he hopes is a firmly upset face. He already feels his lip quiver though, taking in the sight of his completely dejected brother. Hiro tries to maintain his expression and stance—firm, unrelenting, only wanting to help but refusing to take no for an answer. “You can’t do this forever, Tadashi.” Hiro states, voice wavering only slightly. “I can’t imagine what it’s like—” He stops. “Well, I can. I remember what it was like when I thought you died.” Hiro stumbles backwards to sit on the windowsill. His legs quake at the thought of losing Tadashi again, of being swallowed up by the black hole that is depression. “I didn’t eat. I didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t move. For weeks.” Hiro runs a hand through his hair. “It was bad. And if it wasn’t for the whole thing with Callaghan, I d-don’t know that I would have ever come out of it.”

Tadashi sits back in his chair, silent and pale.

“I’m not. I’m not trying to say it’s easy to get over this, to overcome this.” Hiro feels so small talking to his brother; he’s seventeen now but he feels like a child confronting his brother like this. He feels impossibly small. “And I know that maybe you won’t move past it completely.” Hiro’s voice shakes as tears well up in his eyes. “But you have to try. You have to try!” His voice shifts briefly to a shout. “You can’t just waste away like this. I need you, Cass needs you, we all need you.

“When I thought you were gone, I didn’t stop crying for days. I cried every single night because all I could think about was how I couldn’t hear you snoring in your bed, and how I never got to wake up to you hovering over me and telling me I’d be late, and how we never got to go to school together.” Hiro clasps his hands in his laps and stares at the floor. “If you really were dead, o-or if we’d never found you… Even with Big Hero 6, I don’t think I would’ve gotten over it completely.”

Tadashi shifts in his chair, staring intently at his brother. He has no words; or rather, he has too many, but they’re all getting caught in his throat and fighting to get out.

“I won’t let you waste the rest of your life like this, Tadashi.” Hiro rises to stand on shaking legs. “You’re too good for that. You’re still smart and you’re kind and you can do just as much as you did before if you really tried. I know you think you’re weak or ugly or shameful but none of that is true.” Hiro sways on his feet. “I know it’s hard, but you have me. And Baymax, and Cass, and Honey-Lemon, Gogo, Wasabi, Fred—all of us are here for you. We always have been and we always will be.” Arms and hands shaking with nerves, Hiro approaches his brother slowly. When Tadashi raises no objections, Hiro slowly leans in and pulls his brother into a soft hug. Tears race down Hiro’s cheeks and drip onto Tadashi’s shirt, but neither brother comments.

After a few long moments of nothing, Tadashi lifts his arms carefully to hug Hiro in return. Hiro clings to him tighter, sobbing openly against him. Tadashi feels his own eyes water and overflow, and he presses his face against Hiro’s hair. He takes in the scent of his brother, the comforting familiar scent of his family. They stay like that for who knows how long, unmoving except for the sobs that have their chests heaving.

Eventually, they pull away. Hiro doesn’t go far though. He stays by his brother’s side and stares down at him. “I missed you, Tadashi.” Hiro’s voice cracks wetly, and he laughs as he wipes away his tears. “I thought I was gonna lose you again.”

Tadashi reaches out and links his hands with Hiro’s. “I’m here. I’m here to stay.” He presses his face against Hiro’s knuckles, the touch calming his racing mind. “I’ll try,” he promises, “I will try to get better.” Hiro takes one hand back and uses it to comb through his brother’s hair. Tadashi doesn’t quite believe his words—or rather, he isn’t quite sure he _can_ get better. He feels far too broken, inside and out, to ever piece himself back together.

“I’m here for you.” Hiro whispers, pulling Tadashi against him in another hug. “I’m here for you.”

But, Tadashi supposes, if Hiro thinks he can do it then who’s to say he can’t?


End file.
